THE DR. DEMENTO SHOW

Parody songs by Mark Jonathan Davis have been airing on the nationally syndicated THE DR. DEMENTO SHOW since 1985. His biggest hits include "The Star Wars Cantina," "Shatnered," and "Jeannie's Diner," as well as "We Love Barney Fife," "They Drive Me Brady," "(Stairway To) 7-Eleven," "Eat Too Much," "La Isla Gilligan," and "I Want Your Sox" in collaboration with his radio colleague Rob "Iceman" Izenberg.

Many of these popular parodies are included on the Mark Jonathan Davis albums "The Parody Songs That Destroyed Earth" (2020) and "Parody Songs For A Better Tomorrow" (2021), available now at markjonathandavis.bandcamp.com.

Davis debuted on the Dr. Demento show in May 1985, collaborating with Rob "Iceman" Izenberg under the band name "The Floating Eyebrows," with a parody song called "Lady Madonna."

At KZZP in 1986, Davis did the voice of Jerry Lewis on Mike Elliott & Bud Latour's "Rock Me Jerry Lewis," which reached #1 on Dr. Demento's Funny Twenty-Five countdown.

And then, using artist names including Guns N' Moses, the Traveling Pillsburys, The Iceman, Led Slurpee, and Screwball Productions, Davis and Izenberg had more than a dozen hits on the Dr. Demento Show from 1987 to 1997.

Here are some of the most popular Demento parody songs written/performed/produced by Mark Jonathan Davis since 1985:

"Lady Madonna" by The Floating Eyebrows (1985) (collaboration with Rob "Iceman" Izenberg)
"Rock Me Jerry Lewis" by Mike Elliott & Bud Latour (1986)
"I Want Your Sox" by The Iceman (1987) (with Izenberg)
"La Isla Gilligan" by The Iceman (1987) (with Izenberg)
"Radio Shack" by Guns N' Moses (1989) (with Izenberg)
"Eat Too Much" by Guns N' Moses (1989) (with Izenberg, featuring Nola Enge)
"Spock On" by the Traveling Pillsburys (1989) (with Izenberg)
"The Guy From Panama" by Screwball Productions (1990) (with Izenberg)
"We Love Barney Fife" by Guns N' Moses (1990) (with Izenberg)
"They Drive Me Brady" by Guns N' Moses (1990) (with Izenberg)
"(Stairway To) 7-Eleven" by Led Slurpee (1991) (with Izenberg)
"Jeannie's Diner" by Mark Jonathan Davis (1991) (featuring Marilyn Whitelaw)
"The Star Wars Cantina" by Mark Jonathan Davis (1997)
"La Isla Gilligan '97" by Guns N' Moses (1997) (with Izenberg, featuring Melissa Fahn)
"The Phantom Medley" by Mark Jonathan Davis (1999)
"Shatnered" by Mark Jonathan Davis (2021)

Davis was an in-studio guest on the Dr. Demento Show in July 1990 (episode 90-29).

Here are music videos and lyrics for some of Mark Jonathan Davis's most popular Dr. Demento hits:

"The Star Wars Cantina"
(Parody of "Copacabana")
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope" (spoken by Princess Leia)

Her name was Leia
She was a princess
With a danish on each ear
And Darth Vader drawing near
So R2-D2
Found Ben Kenobi
He'd have to put the Death Star plans
Into the rebellion's hands
So Luke and Obi-Wan
Had to get to Alderaan
So they stopped into Mos Eisley to have a drink with Han

At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a
Here at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
Music and blasters
And old Jedi masters
At the Star Wars....

His name was Solo
He was a pilot
With a blaster at his side
And a smile 12 parsecs wide
There with Chewbacca
He was a wookie
They met with Luke and Obi-Wan
About the Millenium Falcon
Docking bay ninety-four
Stormtroopers at the door
With a flash of Ben's light-saber, now there's an arm on the floor

At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a
Here at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
Music and blasters
And old Jedi masters
At the Star Wars....

"Mos Eisley spaceport...you will never find the more wretched hive
of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." (spoken by Ben Kenobi)

His name was Yoda
He was a muppet
Darth Vader was so bad
And by the way, he's Luke's dad
Luke kissed his sister
His hand got cut-off
In that galaxy far, far away
Luke has had a lousy day
Boba Fett was so mean
Jabba had bad hygiene
Why didn't they all just relax back on Tatooine

at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a
Here at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
Music and blasters
And old Jedi masters
At the Star Wars....

"The force will be with you...always." (spoken by Ben)

"The Star Wars Cantina" by Mark Jonathan Davis
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Daviss
Parody of Barry Manilow's "Copacabana"
© Copyright 1997-2017 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA (ASCAP)

"Shatnered"
(Parody of "Shattered")
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

Uh huh
Shatner
(William, Shatner)

Stars and ships and galaxies
Bringin' Klingons to their knees
Look at Captain Kirk!
He's an actor
He's William Shatner
(William, Shatner, Shatner)

The Red Alert's alarming, the Romulans are arming
Beaming down a landing party to the scene, lookout
There might be trouble, bring in the stunt double
Unless that alien wants to snuggle

Black pants and yellow shirt
Chasing intergalactic skirt
That's James T. Kirk
William Shatner
The master blaster
(William, Shatner, Shatner)

All this phaser firing, starship flying, Sulu's driving
Warp factor, factor, factor
He's kind of hammy, but he won an Emmy
On "The Practice"
(William, Shatner, Shatner)

Mister Spock might pinch your neck
But who's the star on Star Trek, Trek, Trek, Trek, Trek, Trek, Trek, Trek!
William Shatner
He's doing acting

(instrumental break)

Ohh energize
William Shatner
(He's Bill, Shatner, Shatner)
Always sayin' Scotty beam me up, up, up, up, up!
(He was also, T.J. Hooker)

He got tribbles on the Enterprise
Horta's uptown, what a mess
His ship is captured
But he's on a mattress, with a character actress
Gettin' action all over ... that planet

This town is full of sabotaagers
Go ahead, fight the big Apollo
Don't mind the Mugatos
Uh huh

He's hitting on ya
He's drinkin' Tranya
He'll Wrath Of Kahn ya

All this chitter chatter
'Bout the matter anti-matter, matter anti-matter

The Rocket Man
In command
Give him a big hand
William Shatner

"Shatnered" by Mark Jonathan Davis
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
Parody of "Shattered" by The Rolling Stones
© Copyright 2020 Mark Jonathan Davis
Published by IdeatownUSA (ASCAP)

"Jeannie's Diner"
(Parody of "Tom's Diner")
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

(TV Promo from Nick At Nite)

I am sitting on the sofa, there's a TV in the corner
I am watching Major Nelson, he is played by Larry Hagman (Jeannie!)
And he found a little bottle, and out popped Barbara Eden
But she couldn't show her belly button, all she did was blink

(Dr. Bellows: Uh, Good Evening Major Nelson)
Tony Nelson works at NASA with suspicious Dr. Bellows
And there's also Roger Healy, who would become Howard Borden (Jeannie!)
And Jeannie always means well, but they get in wacky trouble
She folds her arms and blinks her eyes, it's kind of like Bewitched

(Jeannie!)
(Jeannie! Jeannie!)
(Yes, master!)

Oh the reruns will continue on the TV as I'm watching
The pink smoke of her bottle
I am dreaming of Jeannie
(Jeannie!)

"Jeannie's Diner" by Mark Jonathan Davis
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
Parody of Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner"
© Copyright 1990, 1994 Mark Jonathan Davis / Nick At Nite
Published by IdeatownUSA (ASCAP)

"Rice Rice Baby"
(Parody of "Ice Ice Baby")
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

Yo maître d’, let’s cook it!

Rice, rice baby
Rice, rice baby

Alright stop, grab a table and a menu
Ice is back in this Oriental venue
Hungry for a little Chop Suey
You got some Dim Sum, bring it right to me
You know what you want?
Yo, can't decide
Column A, Column B, I like fried

Shrimp and spare ribs, my fingers I'm lickin'
Waitin' for the Main Course, Kung Pau Chicken
Spicy, I mean hot like a stir fry
If you can't take it, order Moo Goo Gai Pan
Means chicken and mushrooms
While you're on the soup, the food is here to soon
No substitutions but you get hot tea
They say vegetable, but that means snow pea

If I get dessert, yo, I deserve it
Check out the chow while the waiter serves it
Rice, rice baby
Rice, rice baby

You're eatin' sweet and sour
But you'll be hungry in less than an hour
Use chopsticks or don't, it don't matter
Fingers were made for a Pu-Pu Platter
Egg rollin’ with Egg Foo Yung
My dinner is cookin' like Connie Chung
Noodles on standby, Chow Mein nearby
Egg drop? No, I'm a Wonton Soup guy

Soy sauce, hot mustard smokin'
My plate is clean and my fortune cookie's broken
Bustin' a bite of Mongolian Beef
Get a mint toothpick for my teeth
Takeout, leftover Lo Mein
If I eat any more, I'll have a weight gain

If I get dessert, yo, I deserve it
Check out the chow while the waiter serves it
Rice, rice baby
Rice, rice baby
Rice

Yo man, let's get out of here
Tip to your waitress
Rice, rice baby to go
Rice, rice baby to go

"Rice Rice Baby" by Mark Jonathan Davis
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis
Parody of "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice
© Copyright 1990 Mark Jonathan Davis

"La Isla Gilligan"
(Parody of "Las Isla Bonita")
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis and Rob Izenberg

Perdon, Yo no habla Español.
Last night I dreamt of the Minnow
Five passengers who sailed that day
From a tropic bay

The weather started getting rough [thunderclap]
So they had to stay awhile
On that desert isle

Living in those bamboo huts
The first mate was such a klutz
Mary Ann had great coconuts
La Isla Gilligan

And when the theme song plays
I think of those castaways
Who wore the same clothes every day
On that uncharted desert isle

"Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Oh, my buddy!"

Gilligan fell out of his hammock ("Oop!")
He landed on the Skipper's lap
Woke him from his nap

Los Howells tienen mucho dinero ("I know the universal language--money!")
No phones, no lights, no motorcars
Just dumb guests stars

Tropical the island nest
Sending out an S.O.S.
All the guys loved Ginger's hair
La Isla Gilligan

'Cause when the theme song plays
I think of those castaways
Who wore the same clothes every day
On that uncharted desert isle

"Oop!" "Oop!" "Oop!" "Oop!"

I want to watch the reruns til I die
When it's time for the credits their faces go by
Gilligan, Skipper, the millionaire, and his wife
The movie star, the Professor, and
Mary Ann

"What happened?"
"Well, it's those radioactive vegetables, Mary Ann!"

So join us here each week my friend
The best half hour you'll ever spend
'Cause you know they won't get rescued again
From La Isla Gilligan

And when the theme song plays
I think of those castaways
Who wore the same clothes every day
On that uncharted desert isle

The radio warned them of typhoons
Stuff washed up in the lagoon
The reruns are on every afternoon
La Isla Gilligan

And when the theme song plays
I think of those castaways
Who wore the same clothes every day
On that uncharted desert isle

"Don't worry, Skipper, I know exactly where we are."
"You do? Where are we?"
"We're lost."
"Oh, Gilligan!"

(C) Copyright 1987 markjonathandavis / icemark
Written by Mark Jonathan Davis and Rob "Iceman" Izenberg

"La Isla Gilligan" by IceMark Industries
Lyrics written by Mark Jonathan Davis and Rob Izenberg
Parody of "La Isla Bonita" by Madonna
© Copyright 1987 Mark Jonathan Davis

"The Phantom Medley"
(Parody about "Star Wars")
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

(OH SUSANNA)
Well, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away-a
This guy in black was on the track of the rebels led by Leia
Hey, Luke Skywalker
They fried your uncle and aunt
So he left Tatooine with a light sabre in his pants

(ALOUETTE)
You can bet I
Want to be a Jedi
There is no try
Only do

(ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT)
Use, use, use the force
Trust me, Luke, it's neato
Listen to Ben
He'll tell you when
To launch your torpedo

(THE CAISSONS GO MARCHING ALONG)
It's a ship
That is flown
By that Indiana Jones
And the Falcon goes flying along

(RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES)
He is Darth Vader
He's a Jedi hater
He dies much later
In episode six

(ON TOP OF OLD SMOKEY)
Obi-Wan Kenobi
All covered in brown
He may cut your arm off
If you screw around

(LA BAMBA)
Ba-da-la-da-da-la Boba
He's the bounty hunter after Han
Under that armor, he's got nothing on

(POP GOES THE WEASEL)
I love the Star Wars movies
A trio without equal
And now it's time for Episode One
Pop goes the prequel

(LA CUCARACHA)
The Phantom Menace, The Phantom Menace
Who're ya gonna see it with?
Share a Cola with Sebulba
Or have some popcorn with the Sith

(JINGLE BELLS)
Jar Jar Binks
Jar Jar Binks
His floppy ears are giant
They rendered 'im
With a Pentium
Let's hope he's Y2K compliant

(CAMPTOWN RACES)
Watch pod races in the heat
Ka-Boom, Ka-Boom
Anakin needs a booster seat
Oh the Tatooine day

(SHE'LL BE COMIN' ROUND THE MOUNTAIN)
They'll be flyin' round Naboo when they come
They'll be fightin' battle droids of the Federation
Hey those light sabres
Sound just like electric razors
They'll be flyin' 'round Naboo when they--

(COME ALL YE FAITHFUL)
Come all ye forceful
To the THX theatre

(HALLELUJAH)
Queen Amidala
Amidala, Amidala
She's a hot tamale
Natalie, marry me!

(HAVA NAGILA)
The saga
Starts with Obi-
Wan Kenobi
and Qui Gon-Jinn

Those guys
Were Jedis
With light sabres
And hair extensions

Anakin's a little boy
But someday, he will destroy
The Jedi knights
In galactic fights
With ships and battle droids

He knew
R2
D2 on Naboo

Luke and Leia, Ben and Yoda
Jabba, Chewie, Han and Boba
Ewoks, Jawas, and the Gungans
And that guy from Pulp Fiction

Ships attacking, creatures biting
and Darth Maul was Kung Fu fighting
Good and Evil, Fate and Mystery
And the coolest toys in retail history
Episode One...

Shut up, the movie has begun

(SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT)
That's The Phantom Medley
The End

"Let's Get Spocked"
(Parody of "Let's Get Rocked")
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis and Rob Izenberg

“Kirk to Enterprise.”
“Enterprise, Spock here.”

Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get....

He’s your green-blooded Vulcan logical dude
“Fascinating!”
Livin’ long and prosperin’, in a mind-meld mood
He’s with Kirk, Bones, Scotty, Uhura, Chekov, on a five-year trek
And if you ever piss him off, he’ll just pinch your neck

It was Tribbles, Klingons, Romulans
Sulu’s at the wheel
Kirk had sex with aliens
Did he put on his deflector shield?

Now Doctor McCoy is startin’ to panic
“Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a mechanic!”

Beam me up, Scotty, to the Enterprise
Hey everybody, energize
Warp drive power, phasers on stun
It’ll just take an hour, rerun, rerun, rerun

Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“I am not capable of that emotion.”
Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“Fascinating!”

He’s had pointy ears, for thirty years
Come on, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“Reading goes off my scale, Captain!”

Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“Most illogical reaction!”
Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“You’re out of your Vulcan mind, Spock!”
“Logical, flawlessly logical.”
C’mon, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“Spock out.”

Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“It is somewhat stimulating.”

"Rock Me Jerry Lewis"
(Parody of "Rock Me Amadeus")
Lyrics by Mike Elliott, Bud Latour, and Mark Jonathan Davis

Rock Me Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis
(repeats)

Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis
(repeats)

Oooh Rock Me Jerry Lewis!
Oooh Rock Me Jerry Lewis!
Oooh Rock Me Jerry Lewis!
Oooh!

L-L-L-L-Lady, L-L-L-L-Lady
Tel-tel-tel-telethon, Tel-tel-tel-tel-telethon

1926, New Jersey, March 16th, Jerry Lewis is born in Newark
1946, at the age of 20, Jerry Lewis meets Dean Martin for the first time
1949, Martin & Lewis star in their first film, "My Friend Irma”
1956, Martin & Lewis release "Hollywood Or Bust," then split up
1963, on his own, Lewis stars in "The Nutty Professor"
1973, Lewis chooses Las Vegas as the home for the MDA telethons
Labor Day, 3 years later, Frank Sinatra reunites Martin & Lewis live on the telethon
In 1986, for no apparent reason, Mike Elliott & Bud Latour record "Rock Me Jerry Lewis"
Rock Rock Rock Me Jerry Lewis, Jerry
Ooh ooh, ooh

Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis
Whoa whoa whoa!
Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis

“Oooh! I’m sorry Mr. Element, uh, Mr. Elliott, and Bud. Oooh!
Uh, I want my, I want my, I want my…”

Oooh Rock Me Jerry Lewis!
Oooh Rock Me Jerry Lewis!
Oooh Rock Me Jerry Lewis!
Oooh Oooh!

"Wicked Game Show"
(Parody of "Wicked Game")
Lyrics by Mark Jonathan Davis

My brain was on fire
And no one could give me a clue
Score got no higher
What's a contestant to do

I never dreamed that I'd meet Alex Trebek
I never dreamed that I'd be so incorrect

No I can't win on Jeopardy
(this game is only gonna make you look dumb)
No I can't win on Jeopardy
(this game is only gonna make you look dumb)
Could you?

What a wicked theme you hum
To make me feel so dumb
What a wicked category
When you pick Potpourri

What a wicked thing I said
You must think I'm stupid
What a wicked Daily Double
Alex, I'm in trouble

No I can't win on Jeopardy
(this game is only gonna make you look dumb)
No I can't win on Jeopardy
(this game is only gonna make you look dumb)

Nobody knows everything

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